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Weapon of Mass Lubrication?
Your mother’s always the one telling people how great you are. So it makes sense that a new mom’s hormones (at the peak of her affection) are perfect for the task of making a shy person faaabulous.
Paul Zak, a professor of neuroscience at California’s Claremont Graduate University, who has tested the hormone on hundreds of patients, said: “Tests have shown that oxytocin reduces anxiety levels in users. It is a hormone that facilitates social contact between people. What’s more, it is a very safe product that does not have any side effects and is not addictive.”
Sure, it’s not. The drug is also supposed to make people more generous.
Research shows that the higher the natural level of oxytocin people have in their brain, the more likely they are to give money to charity and act kindly towards strangers. It has also been shown to increase the level of monogamy in rodents.
Great, so if I want to lose the shyness, I’m going to give all my money away, and perhaps find happiness in a long-term relationship with a rat.
It could have other commercial benefits. For instance, it could be sprayed in restaurants to put diners at ease, or be used as an alternative to tear gas to calm rioters.
Or, the federal government could just co-opt it for use during difficult times, when, you know, it might be helpful to have a more sedate, pliable population. Fantastic work on this drug, people. Sounds just perfect.