Jessica Alfieri

writes everything you see here.

• Dollars to Donuts

  Aug 8, 2008 tagged as awkward conversation, elevator

  In my building’s elevator, going up:

  UNCOMFORTABLE PENSIONER, making awkward conversation: Lovely day, isn’t it?

  ME: [Looking up from my mail, I give her a polite nod, and smile.]

  COLLEGE HIPSTER: Dollars to donuts!!

  (Meanwhile, I don’t know what either of them are talking about.  A) It’s not a lovely day, at least not in the weather sense.  B) WTF, dollars to donuts?)

  COLLEGE HIPSTER is so amused with herself that she’s still laughing as she exits the elevator.

  But it isn’t the kind of laughter that says “I really think this is funny”.  It’s more like “it really tickles me how stupid old people are”.

  UNCOMFORTABLE PENSIONER, sheepishly: Bye, now!

  Jerk.  Just learn the nod-and-smile.