Jessica Alfieri
writes everything you see here.
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Bathing Beauty
Think back to college, or high school, or grammar school - whatever it takes to get to a time when you thought you were super fucking cool. And now: How cool were you really?
I’m sure there are tons of examples of super cool behavior in my life (please don’t feel compelled to remind me), but the most emblematic for me is working on student film sets in college. I look back on those experiences with an interesting mix of we really had our shit together and we looked like a bunch of jackasses.
Like when we’d audition actors. Real actors would come and audition. (They were just trying to make it in New York, and hell, work is work. Especially on a potentially famous future director’s first film, even without pay.) And we, the managing crew, would sit and evaluate them from behind our clipboards, usually inside an NYU rec room, in some dorm or a meeting space at the Tisch building. Any place we could get our hands on.
Which means that these actors had to compete with ambient noise and other things associated with college.
My point is, however talented the crews were, perfect the sets looked (that was my department!), attractively the lighting shined, or elegant the camera work was, we were amateurs with next to no experience. Amateurs who also believed our work was important and that our talent entitled us somehow.
So when I noticed a little outdoor set in the works on Sunday morning, I watched the crew work for a while. I had a good laugh when they strung CAUTION tape to block pedestrian traffic. Plenty of (real) New Yorkers ignored it and passed through anyway. And then I cringed a little as they adjusted their angle to block the entire northeast corner of the square. It’s so easy to smell that musty amateur-hour aroma with things like this; you know they didn’t get a permit for that spot.
Look, a cone! These guys are pros.
Mme. Director giving some direction.
And then CAUTION tape came down when a brusk passerby walked through it.
Hi, cast and crew of Bathing Suit Movie! I don’t know what you were filming exactly (although it looked a lot like the OC meets Gossip Girl meets really strange set choice, and it was obviously one of those film school talking heads movies) but I want you to know that in a few years, you’re going to look back at this and feel just a little embarassed. Hopefully you’ll also laugh. Enjoy!
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