Posts from September, 2008
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Bad-Movie Madlibs
After [verbing (try "learning" or finding")] about [noun (something like "infidelity" or "what was hidden in the closet" or "how to come alive, and stop living in someone else's shadow")], Character A [verbs ("does" or "goes" or "changes her mind")] [to or about] [place/ thing] and finds romance with a [noun (see "fellow student" or "handyman")].
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Uhh…
I’m all forclempt, so in place of words, here are some photos to fill the void.
(From Sugar Sweet Sunshine, where I’d like to be right now)
(I may be a stress eater, but my teeth hurt just looking at this photo. How about some french fries?)
(Finally, a non-food photo for those of you who aren’t going to play the binge-eating game this weekend)
Happy Friday!
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The Winners
Back in college when I needed ways to kill my time at 2:00 am, when I should have been reading any number of textbooks taller than my toaster oven, I signed up for OkCupid! so I could take their ridiculous tests, like How Geeky Are You? or Do You Know Where You’ll Be Going When You Die?.
The side effect of this many-years-old-choice is that I still receive email updates to a subdomain whose password I don’t remember. So I can’t unsubscribe. (Yeah, sure, I could request a new password to get this done, but until right now, I’ve spent less time on it merely hitting delete.)
But before trashing it today, I browsed through the “New For You Around New York” list. And I’m a little put off that this is the sample of people from which OkCupid thinks I’ll be able to find the one, or even the now.
Here are my favorite personals* from the group, wherein I make a half-assed attempt to protect identities:
*(Yes, they’re only excerpts. What, did you really think I was going to request a new password just to click through and see these?)
1. The Not-Creative Guy
I am creative. Not in the talented artistic way necessarily. I approach routine tasks in unconventional ways. I approach life in new and different manners, thinking outside of the box and outside of myself and outside of the confines of my present existence. I try to find people who share these..
I get the feeling that if you asked the guy “like what?” or “how?” in response to any of these claims, he’d stare back blankly, shrug, and say, “stuff” or “you know…”
2. The Guy With Absurd Handle: [Something] Cometh. Then lots of numbers and a word that doesn’t belong in a public forum.
I love to try new things and live my life to the fullest. I’m into the active lifestyle. Both physical and mental. I love to have fun, but in my spare time I like to work on developing both my mind and body.
I’m an outgoing guy who doesn’t really say no to anything. I have friends from…
Ooh, ladies, he’s into an active mental lifestyle. Ask a follow-up question on that one. Maybe he’ll tell you all about taking that Mensa test. And how he’s sure he’ll get in next time.
3. The D&D Guy
I enjoy listening/dancing to music, meditating, dungeons & dragons, relaxing, reading endless volumes of random knowledge, creating music, cooking, drawing psychedelic doodles while riding public transportation (not an easy task), sitting outside during storms, spreading loving energy…
Psychadelic? Ooh. Tell me more. While we don our Dungeons costumes. Also, please ask him where I can get a hold of these endless volumes of random knowledge.
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If you couldn’t pick your mate among those three, perhaps our runner-up will better suit you:
4. The Alliterative Handle Guy (using his [Religion + Name])
Hello. I figured that instead of telling you about myself, I would let one of my best female friends tell you about me. Below is what she has to say:
I am a friend of a really great person. He has been in a few relationships, hoping that they would turn into something serious in the…
Classic. I’m so glad that someone is still using the ploy that makes most women ask, “Oh yeah, if he’s so good, tell me again why you’re not dating him? [...] Oh. Ew. You did. Okay. Bye.”
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Meanwhile, I just received the freshest spam on the market:
Hi,
I think its always strange starting talking to someone new, maybe especially via email-what do I say?? Well I’ll just start from the start, I suppose the usual introductory kind of information. I’m 30 years old, from Melbourne in Australia, am a qualified doctor-doing further training to become a general practitioner…and moved up to Darwin in order to get more experience working with Aboriginal people. Stayed there for a couple of years and recently moved to Katherine which is a town of about 8000 people 4 hrs south of Darwin- believe me, Katherine is very small, especially compared to Melbourne. I love shopping and the most exciting shop here is the supermarket!. But there are lots of great outdoor things to do here- swimming, hiking, canoeing etc- you just have to watch out for the crocodiles. I love travelling, especially africa-some places get under your skin if you know what I mean-and africa has under mine. But I’ve never been to Europe or up your end of the world-apart from England and Ireland but they dont really count.
Anyway, thats all for now, am about to start the afternoon session of seeing patients and do some work.
Looking foward to hearing back from you. How good is your english?- Have you understood everything I’ve written or should I try and simplify things a little?
KatrinaBut I’m really confused about their goals here. I reply and then what?
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EXTREME ice
Remember when Mountain Dew came out with its EXTREME campaigns? All ice and snowboarding, and lots of silly phrases, like get vertical, which I always feel silly saying (even in my head) because there’s no other way to pronounce those two words together but in the fashion of a dude.
Yeah, well, if there’s one Mountain Dewy thing I would like to integrate into my life, it’s more ice. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but I like ice.
The thing I do not like is the making of it. Water sloshing overboard on the way to the freezer, having to wait forever (because no, you can’t remember to fill the stupid, sloshy trays ahead of time), and that multi-taste it takes on after sitting there for weeks because you forgot you wanted ice, but you did not forget that you wanted to make the garlic sauce, the salmon, or the macaroni and cheese… these are the reasons I don’t make it anymore.
But I’m constantly seeing improvements in the ice-making realm. Silicone products and easy-freeze products, and strangely shaped products, and now, the first two, plus air-tight storage to get rid of the smell. It’s almost as good as having a fancy-pants fridge that takes care of it for you.
(Eric, this, the iphone of ice trays, belongs on my Christmas list: iceorb.)
