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Mr. Fezziwig
Everywhere I look, I see people who are pissed off about Christmas The Holiday Season. Mostly for reasons that can be averted.
And too many of them are the people who are usually balanced and happy, optimistic and full of energy. People you’d think would spread the cheer. But they can’t, because their shoulders up to their ears in stress.
I’m no saint, I’m not a “spend-nothing” hippie, and I’m certainly not a “reason for the season” evangelist. I am a pragmatist. And all these things that are making us lucky middle-classers so upset and stressed and frenzied CAN BE AVOIDED. So let’s get a grip on things, shall we? Look at the state of affairs in the world.
“Yes,” you say, “just look at the state of affairs in the world. Things are falling apart, so I’m going to hold onto Christmas and everything it’s always meant with my cold, dead fingers.”
Fine, I get it. Change sucks – especially change for the worse. But what has Christmas always meant to you? Overspending, stressing out, running around until you’ve checked every store in the tri-state area, and fighting your way through Black Friday crowds no matter the cost?
I’m not saying skip the presents. I’m not saying skip the tree, not even the ham or the flight home, or the rental car. But skip the goddamn stress over getting the perfect thing for everyone. It doesn’t exist.
No matter what the holiday means to you – whether it’s about Jesus’ birth or merely being with family – try to remember why it is you’re doing this, why you get a tree or buy some presents or get together on December 25.
And then maybe consider how ugly it is to connect that day with rushing, beating others to the punch, and spend-spend-spending. Why is it that this time of year has us so obsessed with material things that we can’t settle for just one pair of sneakers, or two video games, not ten? I’m a capitalist through and through, but it’s this rush, the urgency that disgusts me. That a man is trampled and the trampling shoppers are disappointed that the shopping is over.
Think about what will make your friends and family smile. And if it’s three Wiis, five cashmere sweaters, and an elephant, they’re the ones in need of a reality check, not you. We all need a little more Fezziwig and a little less Scrooge.
Enjoy the smell of evergreen, the sparkly lights around town, your family’s old ornaments, and all the sugar cookies, fudge, and peppermint bark you can. Just calm the fuck down… and, also, you know, God rest ye, Merry Gentlemen.