Jessica Alfieri

writes everything you see here.

• Something that has Nothing to do with Christmas

  Dec 30, 2008 tagged as sidewalk neighbors, smoking

  I just have a simple question.

  Why so many smokers all of a sudden?

  Every single person I saw this morning was holding a cigarette.  (Walking outside without one is like walking among the pig faces looking like Grace Kelly.)

  Does smoking make you all that much warmer?  (It is a blustery day out there.)

  Are we back to the era of I smoke because it’s cool?  That little white thing is cool if you hold it right, but your look is kind of undone if you smell like shit.

  (And I can smell you from here, smokers.)

  There were very few male smokers in the pack, so maybe it’s an I need to be thin thing.  Yes?

  Or is it more life sucks, the economy sucks, global warming sucks, so why bother quitting?

  Anyway, all you smokers are pissing me off.  And I don’t care if you think it’s cool, or if you want to look like Kate Moss, or that life sucks.

  Not only can I not breathe around you, but you’re making my hair smell like smoke, and that is unacceptable.

  So quit it.