Posts from December, 2009
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From Now On Our Troubles Will Be Miles Away
There are just some things guaranteed to not fuck up Christmas (and sort of even bring it back to life). Consider:
1. Bono’s super-serious appeal of the 90s: “This Christmas. Baby. Please come home.”
See also: every single song on the Charlie Brown Christmas album. (Just don’t watch the actual Charlie Brown Christmas special (aka the most depressing cartoon ever produced).) More holiday cheer? The Drifters’ White Christmas in Santa and reindeer form:
2. Break out the games you played as an eager kid on the big Eve. (Or, in my case, a game my husband played: Santa Bingo!) Don’t forget to re-read The Night Before Christmas too.
3. Watch Holiday Inn for the twentieth time — because it features snow, and Bing Crosby’s ability to dance circles around holiday anxiety. Then, after everyone else has gone off to bed, pop in George and Mary Bailey for a good Christmas cry. And if you have some leftover tears, have a quick listen to Elvis’ Blue Christmas — he’ll be so blue just thinking about you.
4. Make your favorite Christmas cookie. Butter cookie angels with white frosting skirts or gingerbread muscle-men made to look like Aaarnold?
5. Candy canes. I don’t care who you are — they’re just good. (Kind of. In a nostalgic, they’re-sticky-and-usually-don’t-taste-all-that-yummy-and-get-stuck-in-your-teeth kind of way.) Just stick them in some hot chocolate. Or that other hot beverage you have there.
It’s A Wonderful Life, and I hope you have a very merry one (and a good holiday too).
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Inadvertent Funny
Every morning I blearily skim the half-cheesy, half-lovely Daily Good newsletter that cheerily finds its way into my inbox around 7:00am. “Hello? Remember us? We’re here to tell you there’s good in the world — it’s really not all limping puppies and sad clowns…” But today’s glance at it had me deeply concerned.
Cowart* used the Internet months ago to spread his idea: shoot everyday people, especially the disadvantaged, the homeless, people down on their luck and struggling families.
He used the internet for it? And then he wiped out the underprivileged? What a twisted bastard. What kind of world are…
OH, SHOOT WITH A CAMERA! RIIIGHT!**
(I was half-asleep.)
*His name doesn’t help. I immediately skip the “t” and think “coward”. Admit it, YOU DO TOO.
**It’s still a weird story.
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Good Tidings
A nice thing to remember on a cloudy December afternoon:
It is, indeed, the season of regenerated feeling – the season for kindling, not merely the fire of hospitality in the hall, but the genial flame of charity in the heart.
–Washington Irving (from The Sketch Book)
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Things I Have Contemplated Typing into Emails Today
1. I’m not coming because I don’t want to.
2. Actually, I’d really prefer it if you wouldn’t waste my time.
3. No.
4. It does not help. (in response to “I hope this helps.”)