Posts from May, 2010
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Wah Wah Wah
It’s true, some people truly are disgusting, but when did NYers become such sniveling weenies? Evidently, we’re just dying to whine about everything.
1. Seat Hogs
Who among us, when the opportunity presented itself, hasn’t tried to carve out a little extra space in a crowded world? You want a seat? The magic words are EXCUSE ME. Voila!
2. Train Pigs
You hate people eating? Fucking deal. You live with 8 million other people, and you’re not going to like what everyone does. I hate it too, to a gaggy degree, but have a little empathy. Someone who prefers consuming food within our filthy subway system has bigger problems than your opinion of her, even if it is just transient low blood sugar.
3. Subway Douchery
Formerly funny, now a big win of reportage is a girl eating a quarter watermelon? Sure, it’s a strange choice, but the area around her isn’t even polluted with watermelon debris.
I get why we need to commiserate — living here can be hard. But if it’s not rewarding enough to shut up about all this petty, unfunny stuff, there is a lovely home for you in the suburbs.
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Notice
To the mothers who prefer “bebe” over the traditional:
1. Was baby not cute enough to begin with? (It was.)
2. You’re forcing me to imagine your little one dolled up in the slutty lycra stylings of Bebe.
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Disneybama
Today I felt the urge to visit the Disney site and check out the rides that thrilled me when I was six. In the process, I came upon the Hall of Presidents (which can really only be spoken with an echo effect).
Anyway, Disney really butchered Obama.
He looks like a hybrid Governor Patterson/ Chris Parnell.
Besides, he would never wear such an ill fitting shirt.
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Ten Years Ago Goals
There is something so lovely about the fact than an 18 year old’s goals are really resonating for me.
18: Chantal Williams, Cashier
I want to be accomplished, self-sufficient, and loved.
Life in eight words. Chantal is master of the succinct.