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Wah Wah Wah
It’s true, some people truly are disgusting, but when did NYers become such sniveling weenies? Evidently, we’re just dying to whine about everything.
1. Seat Hogs
Who among us, when the opportunity presented itself, hasn’t tried to carve out a little extra space in a crowded world? You want a seat? The magic words are EXCUSE ME. Voila!
2. Train Pigs
You hate people eating? Fucking deal. You live with 8 million other people, and you’re not going to like what everyone does. I hate it too, to a gaggy degree, but have a little empathy. Someone who prefers consuming food within our filthy subway system has bigger problems than your opinion of her, even if it is just transient low blood sugar.
3. Subway Douchery
Formerly funny, now a big win of reportage is a girl eating a quarter watermelon? Sure, it’s a strange choice, but the area around her isn’t even polluted with watermelon debris.
I get why we need to commiserate — living here can be hard. But if it’s not rewarding enough to shut up about all this petty, unfunny stuff, there is a lovely home for you in the suburbs.