Jessica Alfieri
writes everything you see here.
Parliamo Italiano
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Sono scrittrice.
For the first time in more than six years, I have to compose a set of words, type and double space them, and submit them for a grade. Of course, I suppose it’s another (more important?) kind of grading I receive every time I submit words for money, but they’re usually not double spaced.
Anyway, my Italian assignment options are to a) talk about your average day, from waking up to falling asleep; b) describe your favorite vacation; or c) invent a story based on one of six cheesy photos included in the lesson. Length: one page.
Photos include:
- a desperate-looking man with a 70s-era mustache staring at us woefully from behind bars;
- a couple that seems to be ringing in the New Year, dressed in drunken black tie (=untied) as she ruffles his hair and feeds him champagne; and
- a group of ladies who lunch, laughing with their mouths wide open, with the subtitle, “L’Inglese ha fatto spese” (=The English[women] shopped.) Insert wild laughter.
So I didn’t really love the photo options, and I’m definitely not going to bore our instructor with another one of twenty stories I know he’ll have to read: “I woke up at 7:30, brushed my teeth, went to the gym, took a shower, ate some cereal, went to work…”
I imagine him reading all these compositions, repeating the words that we mostly already know how to say, which he probably mastered as a five year old, on and on until he takes a fork to his eye.
So I’m choosing option c-1. A story about something else. After all, sono scrittrice. (“I am a female writer.”)
Sure, I’ll have more crazy-wrong phrasing and use grammar in a way that will probably create a brand new tense, but at least it won’t be boring.
Right, so now I have to actually do it… and the rest of my work. I’ll post whatever I come up with tonight.
Unless you want to do it for me. Italian-speakers, come on down!
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