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Before & After
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In Review
1. Last week, our old, dinged up, uninsulated, leaky asshole of a refrigerator was replaced by a gleaming bastion of light and cooling.
2. Two days later, the bastion gave way to puddles in the ice cube trays and mold in the Locatelli.
3. Four days later, all three of our windows were taken out so that the rotting casements of this gorgeous hundred year old building could be sealed in crappy white aluminum while it was 40 degrees out in.
4. Four and a half days later, I had a meltdown over the inch of black dust, rust, paint chips, metal scraps and mysterious goo covering our bedroom and kitchen.
5. Four and three quarter days later, I cleaned it all up while cursing under my breath and hitting things. And maybe screaming a little while the vacuum was on.
6. Five days later, somebody came to look at the tepid fridge.
7. Six days later, he came back again with a new part for that new fridge.
8. Tonight, I can make dinner again.
Soooo:
*Maybe now we can just not have stuff go on for a while.
*I hope squirrels won’t try to chew through aluminum.
*And that the refrigerator will now just continue to refrigerate stuff.
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Blues
Up, I see it’s 4:57 again. Time for darkness to set in. Not that daylight ever really had a fighting chance. It’s now the time of year where I keep glancing at photos of wafer thin models in gorgeous swimsuits and cheerful, if snooty, beach hats, and thinking “okay, Jess, you can do this.” And then I indulge my fantasies of eating a high school-like 400 calories a day for five minutes until I remember that there’s a cold piece of ravioli calling out to me from the fridge.
I am rattling around the joint these days; the divinity of winter is done. Now I’m waiting for birds to chirp and snow to melt and things to grow green and start making me sneeze again. But I really would like to emerge from this awful month with a couple of things. 1. Restored sense of fairness/ equilibrium/ faith in imaginary creatures/ whatever you want to call it when the groundhog decides tomorrow that we’re all in for a quick departure from this hellish season. (One thing I’ve never done is watch Groundhog Day on groundhog day. Maybe Bill Murray can make winter stop.) 2. The ability to wear a size 4. 3. My dignity after all the sweaty work toward No. 2. 4. [redacted] 5. [redacted v2]
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Into the well
I think you have to wish yourself well before you can wish the world well with any sincerity.
